Life as a lab rat

This past week I spent 2 days 3 nights in a research clinic so they could test a new drug that is supposed to kill bad bacteria (no I dont remeber the name of the bacteria, the drug, or anything important) I do remeber how much im supposed to get paid and that is exactly 1,718!!
This place was so boring and strict, I couldn't take it anymore so I ran out onto the balcony and past other offices. I saw a meeting going on and figured what a perfect opporutnity to make one of them chuckle while big dumb serious goon was giving his speech, that way when he sees pencil-neck brown-noser laughing he can be like, "what do you think your laughing at?!" major suck up can be like, "there was some girl making disturbing faces at me from the window." Important tyrant turns around and I vanish! Meanwhile brown-nosing weasel gets fired, re-evaulates his life, discovers he hated his job anyway and then goes sailing off into the sunset. The uptight fruity doctor didn't like too much that I was trying to make some stiffwads life better and made me come back inside, telling me "What do you think your doing? You need to come inside right away for your dosing..running around like that. This isn't a playground, does it look like one to you?" "Yes it does, like a very poor peoples playground." This guy really needed to loosen up and have a belly laugh so while all 4 doctors and nurses eagerly crowed around my bed after my "dosing" blankly starting at me like a zoo animal I pretended to have a seizure. They all gasped and I even saw one of the nurses quickly side shuffle to one of the machines. "meh ha! just kidding this stuff running through my veins is just cold." The other nurses laughed and told me I "gave them a fright" while the doctor that pulled me inside turned an interesting shade of red and just walked off. I'm hoping he too discovered he hated his job and A walked off the balcony or B joined former pencil pushing nerd into the sunset, I think they'd make a beautiful couple.

Just after my tramatic episode

Wounded in battle by Portegeuse man-of-war!

It was a beautiful sunny day. I didn't have much of an agenda, the world was mine for the taking. "What should we do today?" stupid Janie asked. I gave it some deep thought before I responded, "Lets boogey board out to goat island." Goat island is a large mass out in the pacific sea where surfers and kite boarders trek to, to catch "the ultimate wave." It takes about an hour to swim thru choppy waters to this deserted island, there are also said to be reef sharks near the island...did this stop me? NEVER. I arrived at the beach and dove right into the water anxious for my quest. Swimming thru the rough waters would be hard for most chumps but not for lindsey freaking clark, I sliced thru those waves like butter. Than Janie opened her stupid foreshadowing mouth and said, "oh man I hope we dont get like bit or anything." No sooner had she closed her mouth, when I opened mine to yell out in pain. I had been hit!! The man-of-war jellyfish wrapped it's filthy tentical from my left arm, around my neck and down to my right arm. I had to rip it off of me while severing my flesh in the process. I couldn't go on anymore, it was the most excrustiating pain Ive ever experience! My arm started to swell disabling me from paddling, but I pushed forward. Once out of the water the wind was whipping about all over my swollen arm. My arm was bright red and about twice the size it should be. I screamed out and kicked stuff. There were no medics in sight, I had no one full of pee to ask to relieve themselves on my arm, and trust me I wouldn't have cared it hurt that bad. Finally I just ran to the bus stop, went home and dumped baking soda all over my body. I was almost neutralized by the enemy but I fought on. I am asking the clark army come out here and cook the filthy swine that attacked me. I have a feeling he was sent out by the dreaded Applebees, this battle is now a war.