Relocating the Troll

As you might know, Red Beard's lease is up next month. He has been thinking about dwelling options and asked me to post his top 3 choices. Please evaluate the locations and let him know what you think. Which looks best and why? He wants you to consider a few things:

1. He doesn't have a lot of worldly possessions, but he does have a camper and a stump grinder--actually he has 2 now
2. He will soon have an ogre living with him. This ogre is approximately 9'11'' and he anticipates growing another 3 feet by the end of the year. The ogre also melts in the sun
   
3. He likes to bathe in the nude
4. He doesn't mind snakes, but he hates spiders
5. He can fit into a pillow case

Here are his options:
-----Option A ------------Option B--------------Option C-----

Reconstructing the Ringo Time Line

A certain chimp who we'll call Lord Baldemort has caused quite a stir. He has made several claims regarding the coining of the nickname Ringo. I will present his claims, then reconstruct the time line of events.

The Ape's Claims

• The name Beatle was used first, but was changed to Ringo within the same day
  
• This happened at Christmas while everyone from New Jersey was visiting Utah
• The Ape was present during the trip and during the occurrence
• The occurrence happened at the mullet apartment
  
• The person to coin the name Ringo was from New Jersey
• Quin had the Beatle haircut during this time
• Quin's reply, "I'm not Ringo, I'm Quinny Ringo" was made some time after the first use of the nickname

The Time Line

• October 1999 - Quin is born
• Christmas 2000 - Quin is just over a year old and can most likely say "mommy," daddy," and "ball." Mom just moved into the mullet apartment. The New Jersey crowd spends the holidays in Utah. Celine surprises Pete with a Christmas present in Utah: herself.
  
• August/September 2001 - Gorilla boy comes to Utah to go on his mission
• October 3, 2001 - The bald one enters the MTC (shown below holding Quin sporting a Ringo-like haircut)
  

• October 6, 2001 - Quin turns 2 years old
• Christmas 2001 - The Utah group enjoys Christmas alone. The New Jersey group is in NJ with dad.
• July 2002 - Mom moves to house
  

Things to Consider

• Did a NJ hero leave his legacy by coining this name during a fly-by-night trip?
• Did this happen during the 2000 Christmas trip when Don Prickles was present and Quin was just barely a year old?
• Was Quin's hair even long enough to be called a Beatle when she was barely over a year old?
• Did this happen right before Cactus Jack entered the MTC when everyone else was in NJ?
  
• Were the names Beatle and Ringo actually introduced on the same day or was the name Beatle used for some time before?
• How long did the name Ringo last? If she couldn't speak when the name was first used, did the name live on long enough for her to give her famous reply?

I have presented the Bald Eagle's claims and the facts surrounding this case. I leave it up to you to decide.

The Clark Family Blog is Finally Up

This site is available for all of us to use to keep the family updated on events in our lives. It will archive posts by month, so it will be like a family journal. You can add photos, text, or anything else that would be interesting to us. Keep it appropriate and lively. No boring garbage. The blog is currently set up to only grant access to users with logins. We can change this later if we find it too constrictive.