Clarks Rule

Jacqueline Says Hi!

2010-04-01T20:11:00.001-07:00

I thought I would translate the recent comments you may have seen on our blog. If my translation is correct, I think it means, "Hi there new family members. I want to buy you all a new car. Bonzai!"

Whodunnit

2009-04-11T11:53:00.000-07:00

Alright, very funny family. April Fool's Day apparently is being stretched into a month long joke. The other day a friend of mine from the ward congratulated me in an email on being pregnant. She said a woman from the Relief Society Presidency told her I was pregnant! I laughed so hard when I read her email informing me of this surprising news. Well played Chris and Lindsey. I should never underestimate the lengths you will go to.

Katie spirit leader

2009-03-17T18:55:00.000-07:00

Acting your age

2009-03-11T08:39:00.000-07:00

As you know Dad and I live with Grandpappy, the original old buzzard.
Grandpa is not allowed to drive his car because he is a hazard to himself and others on the road. So, his car just sits in the drive way not being used. There was only ONE time Dad used Grandpa's car while he was napping because his Jeep wasn't working. When Grandpa woke to realize his car was gone, he turned to question me. "Where's that father of yours?!"
"ah...I have no idea" I responded
"rashafrickin (or something like that) I'll give him a piece of my mind when he gets back from joyriding."

Yesterday after dinner Grandpa went out for a smoke, Dad and I excitedly whispered plans to wait until he went to bed and take his car to go shopping.
"We wont have to wait too long, he goes to bed at six freaking thirty."
"Ya, but then he usually gets up a half an hour later to smoke."
"Okay, we'll just sit there watching TV until were sure he's asleep."
So, at 6 freaking 30 Grandpa went to bed, like he usually does, while "Ronnie" and I sat in front of the TV trying to look nonchalant. Like clock work, Grandpa got up, gave us his signature crusty buzzard look and perched himself outside to smoke. Pops and I exchanged giddy smiles. After Grandpaps went to bed for the second time we nervously waited for 15 minutes until we were sure he was asleep. Dad quickly jumped up and stole Grandpa's keys from its hiding place and clutched his prize in his hands. "YES! Lets go!" He squealed like a preschool girl. We raced outside and hoped into our getaway mobile.
"This is so weird. Your 55, and Im 21, yet here we are sneaking out and taking your Dad's car." I thought aloud.
"I know isn't it great? Even better, I have his card, lets get some treats!" Ronnie said grinning.

Based on a true story

Katie stunt group

2009-03-09T12:19:00.000-07:00

Katie

2009-03-09T11:41:00.000-07:00

Katie and Quin

2009-03-09T10:28:00.000-07:00

Quin

2009-03-09T10:05:00.000-07:00

An example of great parenting skills:

2009-03-02T10:58:00.000-08:00

Me: "AH! I can't believe I lost my wallet! I had everything in there, thats it. Im going downstairs to hang myself."

Dad: "You know what, I dont think you'll have enough room down there, you should try a room with a higher ceiling."

Vocabulary Lesson

2009-02-23T12:20:00.000-08:00

Mike "I feel that America and its goverment is just very cyclical."
Lou "Cyclical? I dont think Ive ever heard that word. Whats is mean?"
Mike "MEHAHA!"
Dad "Oh, its when there are several stalactite type icicles all grouped together, hanging down from your roof and ready to fall on you and kill you.

I want to increase my vocabulary because the words I use now are very CYCLICAL.
OR
I would die if a cyclical fell on me.

Mr. & Mrs. Aristocrat

2009-02-12T12:18:00.000-08:00

This is a rare picture of the Aristocrats sighted in the upper-crusty East. Look at those sneering smiles. Everything about them says, "I am too good for you (sigh)."

Brittany's Double

2009-02-10T12:27:00.000-08:00

This one kinda looks like Brittany ya??

2009-01-19T10:15:00.000-08:00

March, May, June, December

Happy Birthday To The Moose!

2009-01-07T11:27:00.000-08:00

TOM HATES THE FAMILY!

2008-12-28T16:53:00.000-08:00

Tom is coming out to NJ soon and we all called to arrange times to hang out. Here are some samples of his caring siblings requesting time with Tom and his cold and harsh reactions

Jason: "Hey Tom, when you come out we should see Benjamin Button."
Tom: "PSH...Whhhy would I? Im coming out there for only a day. I dont have time for your silly movies."

Brittany: "Tom, Im so excited to see you. I got you a present."
Tom: "Leave it on the porch Ill pick it up."
Brittany: "Well...dont you wanna spend time together?"
Tom: "What the heck, you have a husband for that?? Back off lady"

Mike: "I got some great new games for christmas your gonna love"
Tom "AHAHHA! Wait...you think Im going to actually spend my time with...you?? I got news for you pal, I got big plans. Im going to see my friends, not you and the rest of those filthy beasts."

Me: "Tom, I haven't seen you in almost a year! I have so much to tell you! I cant wait to laugh like we used to."
Tom: "EWWW. Who gave you my number??"
Me: "ummm what?"
Tom: "Tell me who gave you this number so I can make minced meat out of them. I can't believe your big eyes got my number. When I come out there Im going to pulverize whoever gave you my number and then Im going to rip your skin off and make a coat out of it."

Katie: "Hello elder brother, I cant wait to play games with you"
Tom: "I cant wait to see you fall off a building after I push you."
Quin: "But Tom! Your our big brother, we look up to you in every way!"
Tom: "Shut up! I will grind your bones to make my bread."

There it is solid proof that Tom hates us all!

Top 5 Family Recipes Of All Time

2008-12-09T09:03:00.000-08:00

5. Chicken and Dumplings
4. Sweet and Sour Chicken
3. Stew
2. Aunt Janes Chili
1. Meat Balls

Katie's Reflections entry

2008-12-06T08:04:00.000-08:00

The Lake
She sat up in her bed.
and in her head
She is dancing on the lake.
Her feet move across the sleeping, slick ice,
as the rabbit tails fall from the sky.
The soft moon-lit surface was singing with joy,
as the sprling glitter falls off the angel's wings.
She makes her way through the smooth crystle.
Then the angels fly her home.
Through the glossy window sill.
And with all the thoughts in her head
She is back in her bed.

All I Really Want is Girls Girls Girls Girls

2008-12-05T19:37:00.000-08:00

It is a reunion for the sisters. Sorry dudes, you are out! This Christmas the girls are taking over NJ. Party time.

Christmas!!

2008-12-04T16:56:00.000-08:00

Here are some great websites to do christmas shopping at!

#1 Overstock.com. They have EVERYTHING! 1000 tread count sheets, cashmere clothes, books and movies. The shipping is only 2.95 for your entire order! Im saving a ton going here!

#2 Ebay. You can find unique presents for ridiculously cheap
#3 Goodguysphoto.com- Tons of crazy deals on electronics
#4 WWW.KITSCH.CO.UK (the shipping isn't too bad, they have really cool stuff)
#5 http://bfads.net/

ClarksList

2008-12-02T18:40:00.000-08:00

Much like the popular craigslist. I think we should have our own clarks list where family members can post things they're looking for (ex: juicer) or things were thinking of getting rid of.
I have a weird compulsion to throw things away after having it too long, even if I haven't used it much (ex: shower caddy). So post stuff your thinking of getting rid of, or something your looking to buy but would first like to see if someone else has but using. We have a ton of movies here in NJ if anyone is interested. Mostly VHS.

ITS OFFICAL!!

2008-12-02T18:29:00.000-08:00

I went down to the social security offices today and offically got my name changed to Scarlette-Rose Freaking Clark. Now you all HAVE to call me some variation of Scarlette!

2008-11-30T17:41:00.000-08:00

I'm a thirstin

2008-11-29T09:44:00.000-08:00

There has been a drought lately and I am tired of it. Get on it.

What do you think?

2008-11-18T22:41:00.000-08:00

Check out these mugs

2008-10-12T07:14:00.000-07:00

I saved the best for last

Feast Your Eyes

2008-10-12T06:44:00.000-07:00

Dr Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

2008-09-27T13:21:00.000-07:00

Nancy's sister-in-law introduced this to us a little while ago, and it gets funnier and funnier every time I watch it. Lord Baldemort gave it a B+ because he didn't like the ending, but I give it an A-.

There are 3 episodes to this show and it features Neil Patrick Harris as an evil guy named Dr. Horrible. He is trying to get accepted into the Evil League Of Evil and needs to impress the leader 'Bad Horse' who is actually a horse. Here is a snippet from the first episode. I bought the entire show for $5, but you can find all the songs on YouTube (the show is a musical). This was created during the writers' strike.

Poopdeck Pappy

2008-09-13T11:37:00.000-07:00

I want to nominate a new nickname for dad. Poopdeck Pappy!!!

the two stooges

2008-09-10T15:57:00.000-07:00

I was working in the yard and had caleb and timmy with me it didn't take them long to find a fun new game to play.

Christmas???

2008-09-07T00:13:00.000-07:00

Are we doing secret santa this year? I for one would like to do that. that is all

Cactimus Primate Sheds More Prickles

2008-09-02T17:55:00.000-07:00

First it's an attempt at the back hair, now it's the rhino horn that has been removed. Here are a few photos of the official Family Creep.

Announcement: Clark Family Website

2008-08-07T17:26:00.000-07:00

There is now a family website at www.clarksrule.com.

The new site DOES NOT replace this blog; it's just a central spot for:

A shared family calendar
An up-to-date family address list
An interactive, collaborative family timeline
Reunion planning
Whatever else we want it to be

The website is private, so you will need a username and password to log in. You should have received an email invitation with instructions. If you need any help logging in or setting things up, let me know.

Have fun!

Another Rhinoceros Siting

2008-07-10T08:40:00.000-07:00

I saw this article on Yahoo and thought everybody would be excited to know that there have been more members found from Tom's Rhino Horn species. In the article it states:

MEGACERAS BRIANSALTINI

Rhinoceros beetles are named for the horn-like structures on their heads. According to the author, this charismatic new species has a unique form of horn that is otherwise similar only to the one on Tom, one of the siblings from the Clark Family. This makes for a rare instance of Nature imitating humans.

Article found at http://www.livescience.com/top-10-new-species-1.html

Italicized text added by Ryan McBride

Mcflirty

2008-06-25T23:27:00.000-07:00

While I was thinking about the family yesterday I realized that the siblings have a lot of similar behaviors and characteristics. Let me illustrate using the most annoying nickname ever used in Hollywood...and see if you can match up the person...
Cheesy Mcflirty
Mean Mcflirty
Homer Mcflirty
Creepy Mcflirty
Annoying Mcflirty
Funny Mcflirty
Uncomfortable Mcflirty
I realized that all the brothers have a tendency to flirt a lot or at least we did at one point, but we all approached the flirting a different way.

2008-06-14T23:44:00.000-07:00

Here are the activities I have planned out so far with you guys. Make comments or change anything that needs to be changed. We need to know when and where we are going to do some of this stuff like games, BBQ, and dinners.

Monday 7: 11:00 am Arrive--Game night
Tuesday 8:
Wednesday 9: Game night
Thursday 10:
Friday 11: LV
Saturday 12: LV
Sunday:13 LV

Monday 14: Movie Day
Tuesday 15: Game night
Wednesday 16: Temple?
Thursday 17:
Friday 18: GC
Saturday 19: GC
Sunday 20: GC

Monday 21: Temple?
Tuesday 22: Movie day
Wednesday 23: Dinner and activity
Thursday 24: BBQ-party-Games
Friday 25: Game night
Saturday 26: WS
Sunday 27: Church--Dinner?--Game night

Monday 28: 4:00 pm Departure

Banana Fana

2008-06-13T13:31:00.000-07:00

Ronald Ronald
Bo Bonald
Banana Fana
Fo Fonald
Mee My Moe Monald
Ronald!

Happy Fathers Day You Old Pirate!!!RRRRRRR

ahahahah

2008-06-12T16:08:00.001-07:00

http://view.break.com/148292 - Watch more free videos

philip Jr

2008-06-09T11:01:00.001-07:00

for those who have not had the chance to see him yet, here is Philip Jr. he is 4 months old and obviously not too happy in this video, maybe it's the sausage fingers assaulting his face.

Kids singing in the bath

2008-06-09T10:38:00.000-07:00

caleb and timmy singing in the tub december 2007

Wii Mario Kart

2008-05-31T17:33:00.000-07:00

It appears that no one is having fun, but trust me, everyone loved playing this new game. I took the picture while they were setting up the game, so it looks lame-o. It was fun having the sisters over at our house to say goodbye. We leave in 1 1/2 weeks! Mario Kart was a perfect way to spend the weekend, especially since it was rainy.

Accomplishments of the week:

Quin ate over her plate most of the time and tried sushi
Katie learned to throw and catch a frisbee
Lindsey bought clothes that weren't pajamas
Ryan was patient enough to teach Quin how to use the steering wheel for Mario Kart
I managed to get Katie and Quin to eat at my house instead of going to Mimi's everyday like they wanted

Flight Info

2008-05-24T04:58:00.000-07:00

Hate to trump my own child's adorable post, but here is Pete's flight info:
Pete's Itinerary

Departure Flight
Depart: 6:10AM Newark (EWR)
Arrive: 8:40AM Dallas Ft. Worth Intl (DFW)
Mon 07/07/08
American Airlines 365 Nonstop

Depart: 9:30AM Dallas Ft. Worth Intl (DFW)
Arrive: 11:05AM Salt Lake City Intl (SLC) Mon 07/07/08
American Airlines 689 Nonstop

Peter CLARK (Seat Request:19A)

Return Flight
Depart: 4:30PM Salt Lake City Intl (SLC) Mon 07/28/08
Arrive: 8:05PM Dallas Ft. Worth Intl (DFW)
Mon 07/28/08
American Airlines 472 Nonstop

Depart: 8:50PM Dallas Ft. Worth Intl (DFW) Mon 07/28/08
Arrive: 1:10AM Newark (EWR) Tue 07/29/08
American Airlines 1162 Nonstop

Peter CLARK (Seat Request:11A)

Calvin at Christmas

2008-05-23T12:24:00.000-07:00

Ryan and I got a flip video camera for Christmas, but we haven't been able to upload any videos until now. Something wasn't working when we connected our camera to our computer. So here is a very belated Christmas video I took when we saw Pete, Celine, and Calvin while they were in NJ.

Trip

2008-05-12T03:58:00.000-07:00

I will be doing two road trips while I am in Utah. One to the Grand Canyon and the other to Las Vegas. Mom and the girls are definitely going to the Grand Canyon. I think we will leave on a Thursday morning and drive back Saturday night. (This might change) It is a long drive and will be a quick trip, but it should be fun and relaxing. The Vegas trip will be a similar amount of time. I just wanted to put the invitation out to everyone. Let me know if you want in. We can change the days and times around if anyone needs them changed.

my blog

2008-05-09T13:30:00.000-07:00

guys i started my own blog so check it out grillingwithcheesesteak.blogspot.com
i don't knonw how connect it to this blog

For Your Consideration

2008-05-06T14:58:00.000-07:00

I would like to propose a new nickname for Mike:

Chef Boyardee

Here he is as a youngster.

Here he is as the future, successful chef we all know and love.

All those in favor...

Last Call

2008-05-01T01:19:00.000-07:00

I am going to get my tickets for Utah soon, so if there is a problem let me know. I think I will come out July 7th or 8th and leave three weeks later. I was planning a trip to Las Vegas, so if you want in let me know. If there are better dates for me to come out let me know now before I get the tickets.

Happy Birthday, Daniel!

2008-04-29T14:07:00.000-07:00

So it was Daniel's birthday on Sunday. He is now a man.

I found a picture of him when he was a baby. I went with Mom the day he had this picture taken. He was crying the whole time. But I stepped in and saved the day and made him laugh like this. Isn't he cute!

I remember when he came home from the hospital, I thought he was the cutest baby I had ever seen. I loved playing with him, that is until I pulled his arms out of his sockets and I thought I broke him. Happy Birthday Daniel!

A Query

2008-04-22T11:00:00.000-07:00

Is Gummy Berry Juice against the WofW?

Walkman

2008-04-17T02:06:00.000-07:00

How do you pluralize walkman?

Information

2008-04-16T22:13:00.000-07:00

You guys have to do a better job of keeping me infomred. Update your blogs and leave more coments. Also I heard Homer and Redbeard both have blogs, but what are the websites?

Keep the Heads Ringin

2008-03-31T05:30:00.000-07:00

Calvin hit his head the other day and for some reason it reminded me of getting hit in the head by the mantle in the family room.
Lets have a roll call who else got slapped in the head by that hundred pound slab of oak.

Answer

2008-03-21T00:55:00.000-07:00

The characters are from the Muppet Show and their names are Sam the Eagle and Dr. Teeth.

Come On!

2008-03-19T02:04:00.001-07:00

Why hasn't anyone questioned my last post???
So here it is what is the connection between the two characters? It's not that hard. Who ever gets it right first gets a punch in the face this summer. Good luck! Make sure you look at my blog and take the test. For every answer you get wrong or don't know you get a dead leg this summer.

2008-03-17T04:48:00.001-07:00

Bad to the Bone

2008-03-15T16:34:00.001-07:00

Believe it or not the infamous P was once the most revered rebel on the east coast. He built his notorious reputation by driving fear into the hearts of teachers. As you will see in this recreation his social studies teacher had the nerve to touch the P man- WRONG MOVE!!!!!!!!!

Bottoms Up

2008-03-15T16:27:00.001-07:00

This recreation comes from Lampy's mission. He and some other missionaries were walking down the crowded London streets. He was with his companion and just ahead was Sister W and her companion. Sister W was in a playful mood and decided to do a ballarina type spin. She got tripped up and ended up on her back skirt up over her head. Notice the extreme lengths I took to make this as accurate as possible, I even found the hunk that was at the scene, he is featured in the background.

Skype Reminder

2008-03-05T23:22:00.000-08:00

I have been trying to keep in contact with everyone, but it is really difficult due to the time change. I just wanted to remind everyone that I am on skype almost every morning at 8:00 am my time. So if you want to chat jsut long on and send me a message. Post pictures of your kid or email me some.

change of plans

2008-02-26T23:03:00.000-08:00

sorry too much sickness must cancel baby blessing. We will reschedule. Is this a particularly bad cold season in Utah or is this typical?

baby blessing

2008-02-25T09:32:00.000-08:00

Karine and I had our 4th little boy 3 weeks ago, his name is Philip Russell Clark Jr. he is healthy and doing well, except the threat of a nasty strep or other infectious virus that has infiltrated our home. This last comment may affect your decision to my invitiation. I can not guarantee that the sickness will be eliminated by Sunday March 2 but that is when we are planning to have his blessing at our ward in Lehi, following the blessing we will have lunch at our house. i am currently on anti-biotics and not supposed to be contagious and timmy is going to the Dr today and will likely be on anti-biotics and also not contagious by sunday, however you know how these things linger and hang around so please if you are worried about getting sick i understand not wanting to come. but all are invited. to get the building take the lehi roller mills exit off I-15 and go to the round about. go 3/4 around and get off on 500 west our building is a couple blocks up on the left. sacrament starts at 11 am. this is copied from the posting i left on the bevington blog, but the same applies if you are worried about sickness, i understand.

Here's My Bid

2008-02-24T13:52:00.000-08:00

The good old comb mustache, the moosestach, and the blended hairstache

Mustachio Perfectedo

2008-02-15T03:51:00.000-08:00

Here is my bid for the mustahce contest...anyone else have the courage?

Recipe For Hunk Stew

2008-02-15T00:58:00.000-08:00

For an extra meaty hunk stew follow the recipe below.

Ingredients:
1 cup celery
1 cup rice
2 tbsp salt
2 cups chicken broth
water as needed
3 parts Jared
equal amounts of Dave and Dave
Secret ingredient: 1 part Tim

Mix the ingredients together and cook to desired tenderness. Serve warm.

We Are Back

2008-02-10T01:01:00.000-08:00

We got back yesterday from a 2 week vaction. We went to Egypt, Israel, and Jordan. You can check Celines blog for good pictures and I will post a more detailed post on my blog soon.

Don't forget to post a pic of your mustachio this coming weekend.

Mustachio Perfecto

2008-01-21T22:31:00.000-08:00

Who's in a for a mustache growing contents? I am not allowed to have a beard, but I can grow a mustache. I have a two week break starting this Friday. I will grow my beard for three weeks and then post a picture on the website. If anyone else wants in grow a mustache and post a picture and then we will have a vote on who has the best mustache.
Rules:
1. You can only grow it for three weeks.
2. You must name your mustache.
3. You must post the picture by February 17th.
4. All are invited.
Criteria for voting: You vote on what mustache you think is the most awesome your reasons are your own. You might want to think about what mustache deserves the title Mustachio Perfecto to help guide you in your voting.
Good Luck!

The incredable Mr. Wrinkles

2008-01-21T00:16:00.000-08:00

This video re-enactment has been years in the works. I wanted to make sure I got it exact so it took me years of waiting on several eye witnesses to return from out of state and country to verify the events as they actually took place. I regret that there is one inaccuracy, the ties I used are not the exact pattern as the ones worn by the participants at the time it occured, but the color schemes are a match. Chris is playing the role of Mike, Tom is playing Matt G from church and I am playing Jason. This event took place in the EB chapel in between sunday school classes in the hall. This is actuall how it went down.

Skype

2008-01-09T23:28:00.000-08:00

If you have skype can you post your account, so I can call you and I can also instant message you. I will try to sign on while I am at school, because I tend to have long periods where I am not busy.
My account is celine.clark
If you don't have skype just go to skype.com and you can down load it for free.

Family Reunion 2009

2008-01-03T03:19:00.000-08:00

I just don't want anyone to forget that we are still planning on having a Clark's family reunion the summer of 2009.
I assume we will have it in Utah now that Phil has moved out there. I think it would be a better location anyway.
Could a few people scout out locations and get an idea of where we should have the reunion. I think everyone still wants to do it at a cabin like place in a wooded area next to water and some other activities.
We also still need to figure out a budget and how we are going to pay.
I know it is still a year and a half away, but I was hoping on getting more finalized plans by this summer or early fall, so everyone can better prepared.

sauce man commeth

2007-12-22T22:58:00.001-08:00

this re-enactment comes from a dispute between chris and tom. the event in question stems from a conversation at the gym some months ago. both parties agree that they were approached by a seemingly gay man that was surprised to find they were religious, commenting they looked like "trouble". this is where the two differ in their accounts. according to tom, chris looked back and with a teasingly saucy lisp said, "we just might be". chris on the other hand insists he had no such lisp and just casually made the comment as he walked out the door. after several interviews and months of investigation i have recreated the events and dialogue as they actually took place at the time of the event in question.

Bevington-Clark

2007-12-10T13:42:00.000-08:00

Those living in or around Utah, be sure to check out the Bevington Blog for details on the Cousins' Christmas Party, which will be this Sunday!

Christmas Presents

2007-12-05T12:49:00.001-08:00

Everyone post your wish list for this year so I dont have to take the time being sneaky and figure out what my secret person wants. DO IT

What's the Plan man?

2007-11-27T04:37:00.000-08:00

I will be in the USA June 30th to August 22nd. It sounds like it would be better if I went to UT some time during the summer. When would be best. I was hoping that most of the siblings could get together at the same time, but it looks like that will not be possible, so is the a better or worse time for any of you on when I should go out there?
I was thinking of staying for a couple of weeks so we could party hardcore.
I was going to spend a few days with mom, a few days in salt lake and I was hoping to do a small trip for a few days.
What would be a good trip that most of you would be in for? Las Vegas? Cali?
Let me know.
We need to party enough to last until the following summer for the clarks family reunion.

Home Coming

2007-11-14T22:17:00.000-08:00

As most of you know Celine and I are coming home for the summer. You can read our reasons for coming home on my blog. I was trying to think of a way we could party together. Any suggestions?

Happy Birthday Tom

2007-11-04T07:55:00.001-08:00

It's Tom's birthday on Tuesday. What are we going to do to honor the Baldemort?

Calling All Slackers

2007-11-03T16:51:00.000-07:00

I am not convinced this will reach all the slacker eyes that I want to see this. Most likely they are slacking off this very minute and are too "busy" or "cool" to read the family blog.

However, it has come to my attention that not all the family members are participating in this blissful blogging experience that Chris and Nancy have started.

You know who you are (Daniel, Dad, Mike). It is high time you come out of your slacker rut and post and comment and blog with the rest of the family. We are all busy, but there is always time for a quick comment, a little thought-of-the-day post. Get it gear boys, or retribution will be severe.

Happy Birthday to Mom

2007-10-20T09:55:00.001-07:00

As I am sure everyone knows, it was Mom's birthday yesterday. To celebrate the occasion I thought we should all write some of our favorite memories about Mom. I, being the best daughter, will go first:

I was riding my bike home from my friends house when I was caught in a rain storm. It was sudden and intense, and by the time I got home, I was soaked and shivering. When I walked in the door, I smelled the delicious aroma of vanilla and chocolate. COOKIES! Mom had made dozens of chocolate chip cookies just for us. Now every time it rains I crave chocolate chip cookies and think of Mom.

This next one is more about Mom having those super powers that moms have:

I was twelve years old and desperately wanted to go to the mall as all tweens do, but Mom said I wasn't old enough to walk to the mall, and cross that busy street, all by myself. Begrudgingly I listened to her because I had already been hit by a car once, even though my friends really wanted to go. I told them I couldn't go, and they left without me. I started walking home by myself, and about halfway back down Hillsdale I got mad, and decided to turn back and go to the mall anyway. This proved a fateful decision.

Feeling brave and defiant, I stood on the sidewalk at the top of Hillsdale and waited until the cars let up so I could dash across. I would just tell Mom that one of my friends' parents had given us a ride.

I was so sneaky.

I saw my chance and ran to the median. I stopped to catch my breath because it was a little scarier than I thought, plus more cars were coming in the opposite direction. So I had to wait in the middle of the road. While I was standing there, trapped like a rat, I saw the bulging eyes of a shocked Mom staring at me from inside the van coming my way.

Oh Crap!

I turned around and ran back across the street, back to the side of safety. I glanced behind me to see mom making a sharp illegal U-Turn. Who was this crazy law-breaking woman! I ran for it. I stayed off the main road and ran through the trees and backyards of the nearby houses. I made my way down a random culdesac to catch my breath. Ha ha, victory was mine. If she confronted me later, I would just say it was definitely not me, and she would feel too embarrassed to say any more.

I skulked out like a cautious fox and headed back to the road just when Mom came racing down the dead end. I don't know how she did it, but the side door flew open and she pulled me inside, all while sitting at the wheel.

Lesson learned: Moms have secret powers that alert them when their kids are breaking the rules. They hone in on your exact location to ground your sorry butt. BEWARE! (PS, good job Mom--I deserved it.)

Cera?

2007-10-19T01:34:00.000-07:00

What? How do you not know who Cera is? Maybe I'm mistaken, but I am sure that is a name we used to call Brittany. Who knows who Cera is and why we called Brittany it. Unless I am mistaken in which case ignore this.
Winner gets a punch in the face.

Bigger and Better

2007-10-18T18:51:00.000-07:00

That's what she said! A brand new website to keep everyone up to date on the dealings in the McBride household. The new website address is mcbrideandgroom.blogspot.com. Enjoy!

Big Fish

2007-10-18T01:54:00.000-07:00

Big fish, little fish, red fish, blue fish...
For some reason when ever I meet new people they become fascinated with our family. They can't get enough of the stories, characters, etc. When I tell stories I always tell the ones I like the best and then add a little something extra.
What are some of the stories that you tell the most and which ones do you feel have become the most inflated over the years?
These stories will also help me for a new section on my blog called old war stories, where once and a while I will tell a good story from our past.

One of my favorites: I only tell a select few this one or I will alter it so it does not sound so profane. I will always bust this story out when ever I am playing games. It was when we were all out at mom's house for Christmas. It was late one night and we were down stairs playing the lame Family game that was introduced to us by C-Hag. Anyway mom was reading the names and Doug slipped in an extra one that was a fake name like the ones Bart Simpson calls Moe's tavern with. So, mom is reading the names and comes across Doug's extra one and she reads it out perfect. She slows down has a puzzled look on her face and we are all stunned. Doug's face is exploding with mirth, mom says something like, "For heaven's sake", we all die laughing, Doug propels himself off the coach lands onto he floor and starts convulsing. It might have been the funniest thing in my life. I am laughing like and idiot in the office right now thinking about it.

Most inflated: The time Me, Doug, and Homer were out side of ShopRite and the stupid deli or dilly saying came up. First of all who cares. I can't believe we still talk about it and it didn't even happened the way Doug said. I don't even think he can recall what really happened. What tangled webs we weave...

Nicknames

2007-10-15T01:33:00.000-07:00

I was telling people about our family and somehow the fact that we all have a millions nicknames came up. I honestly couldn't remember them all, so please help.
(Don't add the nicknames in the comment section just go to the dashboard and add or change nicknames from editing the post)
1. Donkey, Lampwick, Douglas, Onkey, Pixie, Spright, Worlds Stongets Boy, Topher, Crittifier
2. Cheesesteak, Phillz, Helmet, BW, Roid Rage, Cream Cheese, Poodie Bear
3. Pizzaman, fro, afro, Puff, Eddy Rebel, Moose, Peeper, Bunny
4. Tooth, Baldemort, Cactamus Prime, Lord Baldemort, Don Prickles, Cactus- Prickles, Cactumus Prime, Cactumus Primate-Monke, Chuck,Bucky Ohare-BuckTooth Mahoney, Rabbit, Hollywood, Johnny Cage, Dust Mite, Mur Bear, Angale?
5. Elvis, Nelvin, Underwear man, Goofball, Mr. Wrinkles, Side Burns, Hound Dog, King, Muffin
6. Stash, Mustachio,Varuca, Rattigan, street rat, Splinter, Cera, Kitty, Itty Bitty
7. Homer, Head, Homer, Sausage Nips, Pepperoni Pec, Brotworst breast, Jub, King Kong Bundy, Dancing Homer, CJ ?
8. Lu, Googels, Peanut
9. Gump, Henry, Happy, gumpy/gumperton/gumper/, Henry, Lumiere, Bleacher creature, Danna Bannana?
10.
11. Q, Q Ball, Ringo
12. (Dad) Red Beard, Buzzard, Pa Dukes, Troll
13. (Mom) Ma Beagle, Sid V
I updated the list using more nicknames from Phil previouse blog, but there are more nicknames out there. What are they? What does Katty and Quinn call Britt, dad, and Lou? What is Katty's nickname?

CAPTION CONTEST

2007-10-10T22:49:00.000-07:00

Pretty self explanitory but for those of you who rode the short bus someone posts a picture and everyone posts a caption or what have you to it and the winner gets ahhh.....a pat on the back.
Here's the first one

HUNGRY HUNRY HIPPOS!

2007-10-10T22:09:00.000-07:00

I figured out the anwser to chris's question. All the hippos names are nicknames in our family: Happy, Homer, Harry, Henry

BOOMSHOKA
chris is gay. he wont get the camera for nancy so that we can take a colorful picture to add character and life to this otherwise bland page.

Oh wait... Nancy hooked me up. See for yourself:

Prayers answered

2007-10-09T10:46:00.000-07:00

I wanted to thank everyone who fasted and prayed for me to find a job. I will relate the experience of how those prayers were answered. After searching for months for a job in NJ I was beginning to get discouraged. I had several interviews, some that went very well, but nothing was happening. At the suggestion of Pete some particiated in a fast on my behalf. This coupled with my own personal and family fasts and prayers gave me confidence that I would get a job. More time passed and every lead was turning into a dead end. School was scheduled to start in mere weeks and still nothing. I began to get nervous. Karine and I had discussed the possibility of moving, but neither of us really wanted to especially not out of the state, and not to Utah. To my surprise she said one day she thought we should move to Utah. I was kind of shocked but figured we should look into the option. We prayed about knowing if it was right and felt good about the move. We began planning and making arrangements to move. After a week or so we started getting cold feet not knowing if we should really move that far with no real employment and insurance guarantees. We determined to pray and fast again to gain confirmation that we should go. In less than 24 hours we received our answer that we should go. Karine's mom had also suggested the possibility of me going ahead of the family and looking or work and housing. We also felt that this was right and within 36 hours I was gone. Upon arriving in Utah I was fairly certain that I would have to look for a job other than teaching. To my surprise I found several openings and even got an interview at a middle school in Midvale. Within a week I was offered a social studies teaching position at the school. Certainly these events were not a series of coincidences. It just reaffirms what I already knew, God hears and answers our prayers, sometimes unexpectedly; but He does answer them.

Do You Remember When...

2007-10-08T04:14:00.000-07:00

Whenever I leave home for an extended period of time I seem to get extremely nostalgic. Here are a list of memories that have recently bubbled up in my mind.

Mowing the lawn in the summer.
The log fort we built on the side of the house.
The large ice wall dad built one winter.
Big wheel wars.
The smell of Boune Munroe.
Using the younger kids as space ships and smashing them into each other.
The Pine tree in the front yard with the blue bird eggs.
The zip line.
American Gladiator games in the backyard.
The huge leaf piles in the fall.
Smashing pumpkins.
Fighting for a good vent to sit next to on winter mornings.
Watching Jane Fonda's work out with Chris.
Trip wire.
Mine, Tom's, Jason's, Chris's, and Phil's stitches.
Feeling bad for throwing a rock on a rabbit.
Hanging Jason on the fence by his underwear.
Sitting in front of the TV and singing the Simpsons theme song every Sunday as Chris led us.
Trying to watch Married With Children.
Huge amounts of Candy during Halloween.
Jumping in and out of the pool and bath.
Picking Berries with dad on walks.
Drinking Yoohoo at Grandma and Grandpas house.
The summer we drove to Chicago and dad made those picnic like tables for the van.
Sleeping on the nice warm floor of the van on the way to Chicago.
Coming home from my mission and not recognizing Jason.
When Phil hurt his neck real bad wrestling, and when he got lime's disease.
When Chris broke his ankle and would sit out on his lawn chair and make fun of me when I came home from school everyday.
Getting a balloon filled with water thrown at my face when I got home from my mission.
Stuff Your Face and Pancake house.
Picking mom up from the Rustler.
Living on Frank Street and running around with Spiderman Underwear.
Christmas Eve appetizers.
Rad
Shopping with dad and getting 2 carts overfilled with food.
Losing Brittany in Chicago.
The squirrels, park, and willow branch wars in Chicago.
Grandma's apple pie and pink pudding desert.
Learn to Learn with dad.
Spilling juice on the bed in the hotel in Florida.
Football at Boune.
Watching popcorn pop in that old popcorn popper. Waffle and Ice cream sandwiches. Dozens of different kinds of sandwiches cut into triangles for lunch on Sundays. Orange Julius's.

Do you remember them or others?

Conference Sunday (and a surprise visitor!)

2007-10-07T22:23:00.000-07:00

We had our traditional conference brunch between sessions.

Chris had all three griddles running, and managed to trip the circuit breaker multiple timesLook who showed up at our doorstep to crash the party!! Welcome back Lou!

Be sure to beg her for your Hawaiian souvenir; she had so much stuff she couldn't decide what to do with all of it!

What's in a name continued...

2007-10-07T18:58:00.000-07:00

So, I was thinking about what Pete said about the meaning of names, and I started wondering about our pre-Earth life names. We must have had names--we would have to be called something, and I doubt I was destined to be Brittany. So, I asked Ryan, "Do you think we keep our Earthly names when we die or do we go back to our pre-mortal life names?" The more I thought about it, I remembered that Adam (you know--from Adam and Eve) is his Earth name, but when stories are told about him when he was in the pre-mortal world, they called him Michael. Ryan said he is now more commonly referred to as Adam and not Michael. I guess that means we will be known by our Earth names forever. Sorry Jason Sid. What do you guys think? Has anyone heard anything about this?

The artist formally known as Pete

2007-10-02T12:37:00.000-07:00

Does Pete think he's Prince? The artist formally known as Pete will now just go by'P' What's with your user name being 'P' you think you're crazy?............You're not.

Coming Soon

2007-10-01T10:16:00.000-07:00

I have set up a new blog and will soon make my first post. The address is lordbaldemort.blogspot.com

Another Challenge

2007-09-24T17:38:00.000-07:00

I am offering a prize to the first person who can answer this question:

How is the kids' game Hungry Hungry Hippos significant to the Clark family?

The prize for family members will not be as significant as the prize for non-family members. I know that either Mustachio or Cactimus Primate has heard this, so please disqualify yourself because I can't remember which one of you it was.

-Oh, and as always, in laws certainly count as non-family members!
(Hint: You can email me your guess so it is confidential douglasjlampwick@gmail.com You might also want to avoid the comments below)

Last Call for Balboa Challange!

2007-09-21T03:05:00.000-07:00

I wanted to give everyone another chance to sign up. I will give you a week to decide on the following conditions if you join later the rewards will not be as good.

Who's in?

1. Chris-pull ups and push ups
2. Tom-pull ups and push ups (Individual competition also)
3. Dad-?
That's all that have accepted the challenge so far.

Terms and conditions:

100 paintballs for every event and hopper for a clean sweep of all 4 events.
women can barter their winnings with their husbands or brothers for a better reward.
I get to wear (1) pair of pants, shirt, socks, boots, gloves, face mask and underwear.
Paintballs shot from 25 yards?

The equalizer:

I have dropped my equalizers to try to get others to join in...
Women: only need to equal 20% of my score or 1 minute and 30 seconds on a 1 mile run.
Fat and out of shape: I won't mention names. 75% of my score and 30 seconds on a 1 mile run.

I will destroy you all anyway.
So who's in?

Guess Who?

2007-09-19T00:11:00.000-07:00

I just got a sophisticated computer program that ages a photo of someone. So I tested it out on one of our family members. Can you guess who it is?

The Balboa Challenge

2007-09-10T03:27:00.000-07:00

“You're gonna eat lightnin' and you're gonna crap thunder!”

I'm calling all you out...who will have the courage to accept my challenge?

The Challenge is simple attempt to beat me in the following categories...

Pull-ups
Push-ups
Sit-ups
2 mile run

What's on the line?

For me, getting shot with hundreds of paintballs.
For you, certain embarrassment and publicly admitting that I am the Ultimate family athlete.

“Ain’t gonna be no rematch”

The Equalizer: Girls only have get more then 33.3% of my score.

Time and Place: Clark Family reunion 2009...I don't know why I bothered to challenge any of you no one can beat me at the Balboa Challenge.

Who will accept the Balboa Challenge?

"What's in a name?" WS

2007-09-01T00:22:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking on this quote by William Shakespeare lately, let me tell you why-it seems I have been talking about names and the importance of them for the last few years due to everyone around me having children. I used to think that it doesn't really matter what you name your child because, "That which we call a rose By any other name would smell as sweet." This used to make sense to me, because I was of the opinion that whatever I named my son or what I actually decided to refer to him with would not matter, because he would still be the same. Now that we have been in Turkey for the last two weeks and I have had a lot of time to spend with Calvin and analyze his behavior it seems that the ghost from Calvin and Hobbes has entered my sons person. He has become a handful the the last few weeks. Let me site some specific examples. 1. He has no fear: He will get hurt doing something like jumping off a very high playground toy and then after he is done crying he will try to jump off it again. 2. He is not effected by punishment: If he is put in timeout he will smile the entire time and then continue his inappropriate behavior. 3. He is sneaky: He will act very nice and cute and come give me a hug, so I will pick him up and then he will start to hit me in the face with a toy or some other hard object and then start to laugh.

Because, of Calvin's behavior I have been thinking does his name have anything to do with this? We did name him after Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes, because we thought he was funny, but I see now that when children misbehave or act crazy it is funny only when you are on the outside looking in. I was also thinking that the way Calvin acts must have been similar to Chris's behavior, so maybe there is something with the C sound that inspires misbehavior in children.

I have decided to analyze Calvin's name further.

1. Calvinitouse Definition: Derived from John Calvin's' surname(Jean Chauvin). It was latinized and turned into the English version Calvin (meaning Bald). My first thought was this does not apply, but then I recalled his first name was really Thomas.

2. Living up to your name: My next step was to see if Calvin lived up to his name sake's
A. John Calvin: Leader of the Protestant Reformation: Check (He is a rebel)
B. Calvin and Hobbes: Check (He is a trouble maker)
C. John Calvin Coolidge: Check (Both use their middle name)
D. Calvin Klein: Check (Both know what they want and stop at nothing to get it)
C. Let's not forget Calvin's surname Clark...need I say more. He lives up to it in every way.

So, is there something in a name? Apparently in the name Calvin there is an extremely strong willed boy who is hyper and at the same time too lovable. Often when he is misbehaving Celine and I have to hide our faces so he doesn't see us laughing. I don't think Calvin would smell as sweet with any other name and I am glad for who he is.
This analyses and an experience I had the other day made be internalize this topic. I was at a meeting for new faculty at the KOC school where we took turns and told our names and what the names mean and a story about how we got our names. I said, "Hi my name is Peter Clark and my first name means Rock and my surname I thinks used to mean Clerk, but I am not sure. Then I said I don't have a good story behind my name, because I am 1 of 11 and my parents got tired and just started to give us names at random." (This got a good chuckle) It was through this that I thought names are really important in defining who we are. Maybe at first we are defined by our names: like Celine, because of her name people used to think she was French and now that we are in Turkey people think she is Turkish, because Selin is a very popular name here. (and she looks like a Turk). Although in the beginning and before people know us our names often define us, but later we are the ones who define our names. When Calvin is older he will decide what to do with the name we gave him. I can't wait (but maybe I should) to find out who Thomas Calvin Clark ends up to be.

Further Research: Calvin was the 220th most popular name in 2006 and Jacob was number 1. There were 1,624 babies named Calvin (Pedro beat him by 1) which is 0.0753% of the population. Calvin started out as the 100th most popular name in 1800 and had a steady decent until 1919 to 163 then his popularity hit his peak in 1924 at 44th, but then continued a steady decline to 220th in 20006.

"Good will, like a good name, is got by many actions, and lost by one." Lord Jeffrey

What do you think is in a name?

What's The Dilly O

2007-08-29T05:19:00.000-07:00

Why haven't more people put up blogs and responded to them? I'm out of the loop. Anywya for Celines view of our experience here you can check out her blog and you can also see pictures there. There is a link on this blog in the side bar for our blog. The expeience has been great so far we don't actually start to teach until next week. For those of you who plan to come and visit it will be worth the trip, but check with Celine's blog to see when we have vacation and we will try and ge a rough idea of when and were we will be vacationing. We are not going to travel every break we have, so if you want a cheaper expeirence you can come paryt when we will be hanging around our house and we can take occasional trip around Turkey, but if you want to totally go crazy here are some ideas that Celine and I are working on for vacation, Egypt, Germany, France, Italy, Greece, Damascus, Jerusalem, and maybe Australia, New Zealand, Hungary, and India. Over the two years we will probably hit most of these places either togethar or seperate and we weill travel a lot in Turkey. We will probably stay in more of the citites when we visit most of the countries. More info to come in vacations in the next few weeks. Don't forget about the Clark family reunion.

Your input is requested

2007-08-28T18:30:00.000-07:00

Nan has been harassing me to buy her a Treo. This is like a phone, but it has email and PDA capabilities. I think it is pretty expensive: $300 for the phone and $63/month for the plan. That's over $750/year! I know it sounds crazy, but she has some justifications. Please read her argument and cast your vote on my blog.

Hey stupid family!!!

2007-08-08T23:59:00.000-07:00

Saturday there is what we locals call a swap meet. At this event you can buy a ton of local junk for incredibly cheap. EX: I bought a coconut bra for $3 when their usually $15. Im going to be buying all of you freaks something seeing as this is a steal of a deal, I very well can't buy some people stuff and not others, so ill be getting siblings, parents, inlaws and nephews crap. Text, email or comment me what you would like or else you might get stuck with something you dont like. shut up im rich now i can do whatever i want
Ideas
shirt, hat, sandles, swimsuit, hawaiin made jewlery, macadamia nuts, candy, (sorry no fruit can't mail it it's illegal)shells, skirt, nick nacks, lays, towels, purses, ties, journals, photo albums, collectable crap, lava lavas, ukeles, name plates. If you dont respond in the next couple of days.. I WILL BE FURIOUS.

COME ON READ MY NEW BLOG WHY DONT YOU

2007-08-07T13:34:00.000-07:00

I wrote my story on my own page so it wouldn't take up a ton of room on the clarks page....i would just call all you freaks to tell you of the past week, but there's way too many of you people

2007-08-02T23:11:00.000-07:00

Celine got this all wrong. We weren't sacrificing him, we were merely performing a cannibalistic ritual.

Ancient Times?

2007-07-29T07:55:00.000-07:00

I didn't think we would be sacrificing children while all the brothers were together...

LouTube up and running!!

2007-07-28T14:38:00.000-07:00

jigga wha?? Heres the link to my new blog! UHH ClickHereOrDie

All By Myself...Don't Wanna Be... All By Myself...

2007-07-23T14:59:00.000-07:00

Chris's greatest nightmare: being stuck in New York City on his own. Having to walk around alone, eat alone, and even go to beddy-bye all alone. Can he handle it? See the poll in the sidebar.